1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and invite me over, bitch!
FORWARD THIS to ten of your closest, very bestest favorite friends in the whole wide world - within the hour... or GOD WILL KILL THE PERSON MOST DEAR TO YOU BEFORE THE COCK CROWS THRICE !!!!!!
DO IT, CUNT-BAG... DO IT!